On my drive back home from work last Friday, I had decided to listen to some radio. On the radio they were talking to Skeletor. Yes, friends, you heard me right, Skeletor. That blue skinned, yellow skull headed fellow from the He-Man universe.
Being a child of the eighties, I wholeheartedly enjoyed the show. Although, I thought that the villains were way cooler than the heroes. So much in fact that when my mother finally let me get a He-Man action figure, I picked out Skunkor1. So when I heard the familiar voice of Skeletor cackling though my car's speakers, how could I not listen?
Skeletor began by casually discussing his experiences working on the He-Man show. How, being only 5'6”, they often had to have him stand on boxes to make him look taller and more menacing. Then, at some point during the conversation, he elegantly executed his evil plan. Skeletor begin to spout off the endings to popular stories, thus spoiling the movies, books, etc. for any hapless listener. I am proud to admit that I saw through this little ruse. While I didn't really give a rat's crusty behind about movie spoilers, I did care about one particular book spoiler. I thought to myself “Oh, I know where this is headed... he's going to blurt out the ending of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.” After dodging the news media for the past week, I had grown fairly paranoid2. Also, having only ten more chapters left in the book, I wasn't about to let anyone spoil the highly anticipated ending for me. So, ever vigilant, I posed my finger on the radio, awaiting those dreaded words. After minute or so of spoiler carnage which included a bunch of old movie endings such as Unbreakable, Usual Suspects, The Others, and Fight Club he at last said those words that I had been expecting, “and in the new Harry Potter...” at which point I flawlessly flipped to another channel.3
“Ha! Take that Skeletor, overlord of evil!!! In your face!!”4
Come to think of it, Skeletor and He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named do have quite a bit in common. Both are masters of the dark arts. The death eater symbol and Skeletor's portrait do look uncannily similar. Skeletor is known as the overlord of evil while He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named is referred to as the Dark Lord. They both have cheated death. Hmmm... you don't think they are in league with each other? Long lost brother's perhaps?
Nah... I think they would be more enemies. They are too alike in evilness to ever get along. If they ever met I think the result would be a He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named versus Skeletor smackdown. I would have to watch that. I'm sure FOX would be more than happy to host the spectacle.
1In later years my Skunkor action figure contracted some horrible disease in his legs and they fell off. He has been trying to get some disability money from his former employer ever since, but it's not looking good for the stinky guy. Apparently Eternia doesn't have very good workman's compensation laws. Who'd have thunk it?
2Andy had a near miss with MSNBC. While they did warn a spoiler was coming, they only gave viewers a mere 1/100000 of a second to quickly change the channel. Luckily, Andy had been working on his super speed power and managed to avoid disaster with his lightning speed channel changing reflexes.
3I did finish HP7 that very night. Not being of the evil disposition, I am just going to say that I was pleased with the ending.
4Of course, if Skeletor had succeeded in his spoilage, I would rather have the act be committed by him then some cheesy news reporter. I do have standards... geeky standards, but standards none the less.